Nocturne in C# Minor - Chopin

My interpretation of this piece:

1.

In the beginning set of repetitive chords, you will notice that it’s played loud the first time but soft the second. Why is this? For me, it paralleled the loss of my voice at the time.

–As a student in school who got treatment for loss of hearing later during my developmental years, I had lots of gaps to fill in. I remember being bullied for mispronouncing words and being unable to form full coherent sentences. I remember teachers reporting me out of frustration as they couldn’t put up with all my questions (most of which were already covered during lessons, but I had not known since I hadn’t heard any of it). I remember the doctors telling my parents to place me in a special aid class and I remember. (pause) There were so many instances that continued to strip all my pride off till I had none… I wasn’t happy to be me… my voice had become lost.

2.

Then the piece begins with the common melody you will hear throughout. My interpretation is to play it light like a feather the first time. Why?

–To me, it is to symbolize the unconfidence I had as I began my catch up journey. I remember being too scared to speak at all or make any friends out of fear that they would bully me more.

3.

The main theme then repeats again for the second time, but now I feel as though it should be played louder with more confidence!

– This is because, as time passed on and I started crossing roads I was familiar with, I started to gain more confidence about what I was saying and doing although there were still times where I failed.

4.

Next comes the neutral theme. There are neither elements of happiness or sadness in this part. If anything, I feel that this part represents confusion through the contrast in the power of the higher notes and lower notes.

– Although I had managed to catch up somewhat after an intensive amount of struggle, I started to feel confused within myself. Though I had catched up, everyone still seemed ahead of me? I still felt dumber, more inferior than ever, and suddenly insecure!

5.

After the neutral theme, comes the clustered part that eventually stabilizes.

–To me, this part reminds me of when I used to overwork myself till late at night. In my mind, I had thought that I had to work to either be on the same level or better than the others in terms of academics. Eventually I got burned out of trying to constantly compete, when all that was needed was for me to better myself. Once I realized this, I noticed my life started to stabilize a little again.

6.

Now we approach the really sad part that I believe is sad, but is deceptively sad.

– After all the years of work, I still felt that I wasn’t up to par compared to others. But in reality, I had everything but myself; I was lacking in personality. “What should I do” was a thought that was constantly echoing in my mind.

7.

Finally we have the ending scales and a beautiful close on a picardy 3rd C sharp Major arpeggio.

– I think the scales represent me in my process of finding myself; there were highs and lows. The ending C sharp major arpeggio represents me learning to be content with myself, hence changing my outlook on life as it had been flawed for many years previous to it.

Conclusion:

This piece means so much to me as I can relate it to major/minor segments of my life. Although I focused on a lot of sad aspects, it’s because this piece takes me particularly back to those very specific times. There are a lot of other pieces that take me on a journey at different times in my life where various different things made me happy, such as toys as a kid to being able to build new and different electronics to help others in need as I was (now).